The initial step in raising children free of tantrums for their whole childhood is to no longer believe what parenting experts have been advising us for decades-that temper tantrums are a natural, normal, unpreventable, and highly inevitable part of bringing up children. This is just not so. Virtually all kids could be brought up tantrum-free if only the caregivers knew how to do it. I can help you learn how. My first five children all threw temper tantrums and my last eight did not. When my fifth baby was fourteen months old, I discovered what it was I needed to change in my parenting style, and by the time a week or so had gone by he'd finished throwing tantrums forever. None of my last eight children ever threw tantrums because I had taught them from their births on that they could trust that I would respond how they needed to their anger.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I don't think any parent could possibly know everything there is to know about parenting in just one or two preschoolers or even teenagers. I learned important parenting skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I'm still learning. It's typical, though, for parents to feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody really enjoys openly admitting their parenting flaws.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
But not long after becoming parents, most of these experts suddenly have their own kids who throw temper tantrums. This proves their textbook theories about tantrum universality. If even the expert parents (themselves) raise tantrum-throwing children, then of course no inexpert parents could do better. Right? Wrong. Millions of inexpert parents have raised tantrum-free children. I know that tantrum-free child rearing is certainly possible, and highly preferable. It's also a great deal more enjoyable (than the alternative) for every person involved, including the general public. I can tell you how to create a family lifestyle totally free of tantrums.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I don't think any parent could possibly know everything there is to know about parenting in just one or two preschoolers or even teenagers. I learned important parenting skills with my fourth and fifth kids, and I'm still learning. It's typical, though, for parents to feel like hiding their parenting imperfections. Nobody really enjoys openly admitting their parenting flaws.
So, here's how I believe the misconception about tantrum universality came about. In general, parenting experts (who got that way mostly from going to college and not so much from taking care of children) have a greater-than-average need to present as the perfect parents. Because they have designated themselves as expert in raising children, there is an accompanying implication that they are nearly perfect at it.
But not long after becoming parents, most of these experts suddenly have their own kids who throw temper tantrums. This proves their textbook theories about tantrum universality. If even the expert parents (themselves) raise tantrum-throwing children, then of course no inexpert parents could do better. Right? Wrong. Millions of inexpert parents have raised tantrum-free children. I know that tantrum-free child rearing is certainly possible, and highly preferable. It's also a great deal more enjoyable (than the alternative) for every person involved, including the general public. I can tell you how to create a family lifestyle totally free of tantrums.
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Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.. This article, Why Parenting Experts Think All Children Throw Tantrums is available for free reprint.
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