Effective discipline with a child has to be based on treating the child with respect. A parent must always be in charge of a child in a firm, loving, non-harsh, fair, and respectful way before the child will respond positively to any form of discipline. If a parent is in charge disrespectfully, the child could easily react with manipulative, stubborn, or retaliatory anger expressions or tantrums.
When I say being in charge, I mean being the ones who are managing, commanding, directing, running the show, taking charge, being responsible, and assuming authority.
For a discipline method to be effective, it has to be a respectful one. When I say effective, I mean the child's compliance is achieved, without any alienation of the child from the parent. One particularly effective discipline method is Counting. As you likely know, Counting is the numeric warning given to children that if they don't "listen up" soon enough and do what they are told by the time you reach the "magic" number, they will be given consequences.
The best and maybe easiest time to teach children that you are the one in charge is right when they first try out being defiant (typically from six to ten months old). Counting, amazingly enough, works equally well with young babies like this (after they've been taught) as it does with bigger-than-you children and all sizes in-between. Even infants can understand the friendly tone of warning that accompanies Counting.
One more thing about highly effective discipline is that any assigned consequences must nullify whatever benefits were earned by the children's misbehavior. That is, consequences need to be tough enough that the misbehaving child decides the misbehavior wasn't worth it; yet not so tough that the child feels disrespected. Groundings, for example, must be long enough and short enough to accomplish making the child feel somewhere near the middle of (1) the benefit was certainly worth the consequence, and (2) detesting your innards. My Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula provide assistance for parents when Grounding makes a fitting consequence for their children. (That's another thing to think about-consequences should match the offense.)
There is a wide variety of discipline techniques for parents to choose from. When deciding which ones to try, it's helpful to think of the most important criteria, (1) that the technique shows respect, and (2) that it appropriately and adequately, but not overly, consequences the child for the offending behavior.
When I say being in charge, I mean being the ones who are managing, commanding, directing, running the show, taking charge, being responsible, and assuming authority.
For a discipline method to be effective, it has to be a respectful one. When I say effective, I mean the child's compliance is achieved, without any alienation of the child from the parent. One particularly effective discipline method is Counting. As you likely know, Counting is the numeric warning given to children that if they don't "listen up" soon enough and do what they are told by the time you reach the "magic" number, they will be given consequences.
The best and maybe easiest time to teach children that you are the one in charge is right when they first try out being defiant (typically from six to ten months old). Counting, amazingly enough, works equally well with young babies like this (after they've been taught) as it does with bigger-than-you children and all sizes in-between. Even infants can understand the friendly tone of warning that accompanies Counting.
One more thing about highly effective discipline is that any assigned consequences must nullify whatever benefits were earned by the children's misbehavior. That is, consequences need to be tough enough that the misbehaving child decides the misbehavior wasn't worth it; yet not so tough that the child feels disrespected. Groundings, for example, must be long enough and short enough to accomplish making the child feel somewhere near the middle of (1) the benefit was certainly worth the consequence, and (2) detesting your innards. My Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula provide assistance for parents when Grounding makes a fitting consequence for their children. (That's another thing to think about-consequences should match the offense.)
There is a wide variety of discipline techniques for parents to choose from. When deciding which ones to try, it's helpful to think of the most important criteria, (1) that the technique shows respect, and (2) that it appropriately and adequately, but not overly, consequences the child for the offending behavior.
About the Author:
Want to find out more about effective discipline, then visit Leanna Rae Scott's site for effective discipline advice for your needs.. Free reprint available from: Effective Discipline Must Be Positive Discipline: What Doesn't Work And What Does, And Why.
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