If you are an adult, you have had to work with difficult children and their challenging behaviors. But what is the reason for these challenging behaviors and how can you help? Can you help?
A new and very successful method for dealing with challenging children is Collaborative Problem Solving designed by Ros Greene. It is a collaboration between the challenging child and the person in authority making it very different than most discipline ideas.
When an expectation is not being met there are 3 methods for helping the child: Plan A, Plan B or Plan C.
Plan A - Impose your will on the child
Plan B - Collaborative Problem Solving
Plan C - Drop the expectation for now
Plan A is the first idea we will discuss.
Plan A is the most popular and most well accepted discipline methods and it is assumed to be the best. IMPOSING YOUR WILL is Plan A.
You: Johnny, time to brush your teeth!
Johnny: No I can't!
You: Do it now or I will spank your bum... Brush your teeth right now or you will have an early bed tonight.
Plan A is what you were most likely raised with and you probably think you turned out just fine. What is wrong with Plan A? Plan A actually does work quite well for most kids.
The problems begin when the child does not have a Plan A brain. This is the challenging type of child. If the child is unable to fulfill the expectation, challenging behaviors will appear. The challenging child does not have the required skills to meet your expectations. Add to that, you are imposing your will. Let the problems begin.
We will discuss Plan B, Collaborative Problem Solving, later.
Plan C is the idea of not having the expectation for now. It is about prioritizing and forgetting the small issues to focus on the big ones. It is not about dropping the expectation because the child had a "fit" or drove you crazy.
Imagine we have a child who won't go to school and won't tie his shoes. In Plan C we would tie the child's shoes for him in order to work on the priority which is going to school.
Collaborative Problem Solving or Plan B can be summed up in 3 steps:
Interview the Child
Interview the Adult with the Expectations
Brainstorming Solutions to meet the Concerns of Both Parties
Step 1: The first step in Collaborative Problem Solving is asking the challenging child their side of the story. "I've noticed you get very upset when I ask you to clean your room. What is going on?" You will be amazed at the perspective of the child.
Step 2: This is your opportunity to get all the details on paper from your perspective. What do you think is going on? Why do you think you child is struggling with...?
Step 3: Is the time for you and the child to work together to find the best solution.
A new and very successful method for dealing with challenging children is Collaborative Problem Solving designed by Ros Greene. It is a collaboration between the challenging child and the person in authority making it very different than most discipline ideas.
When an expectation is not being met there are 3 methods for helping the child: Plan A, Plan B or Plan C.
Plan A - Impose your will on the child
Plan B - Collaborative Problem Solving
Plan C - Drop the expectation for now
Plan A is the first idea we will discuss.
Plan A is the most popular and most well accepted discipline methods and it is assumed to be the best. IMPOSING YOUR WILL is Plan A.
You: Johnny, time to brush your teeth!
Johnny: No I can't!
You: Do it now or I will spank your bum... Brush your teeth right now or you will have an early bed tonight.
Plan A is what you were most likely raised with and you probably think you turned out just fine. What is wrong with Plan A? Plan A actually does work quite well for most kids.
The problems begin when the child does not have a Plan A brain. This is the challenging type of child. If the child is unable to fulfill the expectation, challenging behaviors will appear. The challenging child does not have the required skills to meet your expectations. Add to that, you are imposing your will. Let the problems begin.
We will discuss Plan B, Collaborative Problem Solving, later.
Plan C is the idea of not having the expectation for now. It is about prioritizing and forgetting the small issues to focus on the big ones. It is not about dropping the expectation because the child had a "fit" or drove you crazy.
Imagine we have a child who won't go to school and won't tie his shoes. In Plan C we would tie the child's shoes for him in order to work on the priority which is going to school.
Collaborative Problem Solving or Plan B can be summed up in 3 steps:
Interview the Child
Interview the Adult with the Expectations
Brainstorming Solutions to meet the Concerns of Both Parties
Step 1: The first step in Collaborative Problem Solving is asking the challenging child their side of the story. "I've noticed you get very upset when I ask you to clean your room. What is going on?" You will be amazed at the perspective of the child.
Step 2: This is your opportunity to get all the details on paper from your perspective. What do you think is going on? Why do you think you child is struggling with...?
Step 3: Is the time for you and the child to work together to find the best solution.
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There is a lot more to learn how to use this program. If you would like to learn more check this out.
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