As human beings we share a common need and desire to be loved. This appears to become most acute during the teenage years as the child develops the capacity to think in abstract terms and makes the huge transition from adolescence to adulthood. The parent teenager relationship then becomes so paramount in the life journey of every teenager.
To respond to a child's need for love, parents naturally seek to love their child the best way they know. Sadly, despite the well intentioned actions of so many parents, many teenagers of the same parents, say that they don't feel loved.
The book, "The Five Love Languages" written by Dr. Gary Chapman asserts that the main reason why so many children feel a lack of love is because the parent is not communicating using the child' specific love language. Therefore, the child's love tank is on the verge of drying up.
The obvious conclusion is that as a parent if you truly want to express your love for your teenager in a way they can receive, you need to first discover their primary love language.
By loving your teenager via their particular love language, you can ensure that their love tank is always being topped up.
It should be noted too, that some people are bilingual, that is, they have two primary love languages.
So in a nutshell, what are the Five Love Languages?
1. QUALITY TIME. This requires that you spend time giving your undivided attention to your child. It calls for your presence in body and spirit.
2. GIFTS. This may be the trickiest of all because everyone likes to receive gifts. However this love language includes any visible, tangible symbol of love. It need not be expensive.
3. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. This is when a parent verbalizes such things as affection, praise, support and comfort. Some teens literally need to hear words like "I love you" or "well done" in order to feel their value. However you can know that this is not your child's love language when they are unreceptive to receiving positive words.
4. PHYSICAL TOUCH. People that feel loved most through physical touch, love to get a hug or a pat on the back. Expressions of physical touch include play fighting your son or fixing your daughter's hair.
5. ACTS OF SERVICE. Teenagers whose primary love language is "acts of service" respond very well when you do things for them like helping them change a tire or prepare a meal.
The trick then is to identify your teen's love language and to then communicate primarily through that particular love language. All that will then translate into helping build a wonderful parent teenager relationship.
To respond to a child's need for love, parents naturally seek to love their child the best way they know. Sadly, despite the well intentioned actions of so many parents, many teenagers of the same parents, say that they don't feel loved.
The book, "The Five Love Languages" written by Dr. Gary Chapman asserts that the main reason why so many children feel a lack of love is because the parent is not communicating using the child' specific love language. Therefore, the child's love tank is on the verge of drying up.
The obvious conclusion is that as a parent if you truly want to express your love for your teenager in a way they can receive, you need to first discover their primary love language.
By loving your teenager via their particular love language, you can ensure that their love tank is always being topped up.
It should be noted too, that some people are bilingual, that is, they have two primary love languages.
So in a nutshell, what are the Five Love Languages?
1. QUALITY TIME. This requires that you spend time giving your undivided attention to your child. It calls for your presence in body and spirit.
2. GIFTS. This may be the trickiest of all because everyone likes to receive gifts. However this love language includes any visible, tangible symbol of love. It need not be expensive.
3. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. This is when a parent verbalizes such things as affection, praise, support and comfort. Some teens literally need to hear words like "I love you" or "well done" in order to feel their value. However you can know that this is not your child's love language when they are unreceptive to receiving positive words.
4. PHYSICAL TOUCH. People that feel loved most through physical touch, love to get a hug or a pat on the back. Expressions of physical touch include play fighting your son or fixing your daughter's hair.
5. ACTS OF SERVICE. Teenagers whose primary love language is "acts of service" respond very well when you do things for them like helping them change a tire or prepare a meal.
The trick then is to identify your teen's love language and to then communicate primarily through that particular love language. All that will then translate into helping build a wonderful parent teenager relationship.
About the Author:
Do you feelangry and overly stressed by your relationship with your teen? Are you at your wits end as to what you can do to make a difference? If so, help is coming. Parenting expert, Paul Saver, has released seven FREE videos that are created to transform your parent teen relationship . Each video goes for three to five minutes. Just click on the link and the FREE videos will be sent to you.
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