Co-parenting is a newer word that is used to describe the situation in which two parents who do not live together (and who are not in a relationship with each other) continue to share the responsibility for raising their children. This can take on different formats and the way that it is carried out is dependent upon lots of different facts. Two major factors are the distance from which the parents live from each other and how old the kids are. If you are new to co-parenting it's natural to be confused and frustrated and you can use the following information to help straighten everything out for yourself.
Probably the most difficult aspect of co-parenting is how children have to go back and forth between parents from time to time. Do not ask your child questions about what the other parent is doing right after they come home from a visit. It's fine if the child wants to discuss certain things with you. Even though you're curious, child interrogations are not recommended. Another thing you shouldn't do is send your kids to the ex-spouse's home with messages. Be an adult and call the other parent if you want to talk. It is never a good idea to get the kids in the middle of any of these issues.
When making decisions about what your child is going to be doing, it's best if the child has some input in it. For instance, you should ask the child where they want to spend the summer or holidays. An argument with the other parent is not going to help. You need to involve your child or children in whatever plans you may have in store. So when parents work together, and involved a child in decisions that must be made, everyone ends up much happier in the end. You should never avoid including the children in this process. It will not end up happy. Very small children or infants should be excluded from this decision-making process, mostly because they won't have much to say.
It can be incredibly awkward to have to drop your kids off or pick them up at your co-parent's home. Try to be as calm as you can in these moments and keep them from becoming dramatic. You can help this by making sure that you show up on time. You'll only make things harder on everyone if you show up late or forget entirely. Things happen--if something comes up that you can't avoid or if you find yourself starting to run late, call your co-parent and let them know.
Co-parenting is a wide spread occurrence these days. Just because it is happening more than ever before is not an indication that it is any more acceptable when the two split with extreme differences. You will accomplish more if you take on an amiable nature and realize that when you take this on together you will be more apt to actually get somewhere; unless one parent is not responsible. Unfortunately when the two parents are continuously yelling and arguing, the children will be the innocent bystanders that get hurt the most.
Probably the most difficult aspect of co-parenting is how children have to go back and forth between parents from time to time. Do not ask your child questions about what the other parent is doing right after they come home from a visit. It's fine if the child wants to discuss certain things with you. Even though you're curious, child interrogations are not recommended. Another thing you shouldn't do is send your kids to the ex-spouse's home with messages. Be an adult and call the other parent if you want to talk. It is never a good idea to get the kids in the middle of any of these issues.
When making decisions about what your child is going to be doing, it's best if the child has some input in it. For instance, you should ask the child where they want to spend the summer or holidays. An argument with the other parent is not going to help. You need to involve your child or children in whatever plans you may have in store. So when parents work together, and involved a child in decisions that must be made, everyone ends up much happier in the end. You should never avoid including the children in this process. It will not end up happy. Very small children or infants should be excluded from this decision-making process, mostly because they won't have much to say.
It can be incredibly awkward to have to drop your kids off or pick them up at your co-parent's home. Try to be as calm as you can in these moments and keep them from becoming dramatic. You can help this by making sure that you show up on time. You'll only make things harder on everyone if you show up late or forget entirely. Things happen--if something comes up that you can't avoid or if you find yourself starting to run late, call your co-parent and let them know.
Co-parenting is a wide spread occurrence these days. Just because it is happening more than ever before is not an indication that it is any more acceptable when the two split with extreme differences. You will accomplish more if you take on an amiable nature and realize that when you take this on together you will be more apt to actually get somewhere; unless one parent is not responsible. Unfortunately when the two parents are continuously yelling and arguing, the children will be the innocent bystanders that get hurt the most.
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