Mike Gurr, Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy, spoke to Lon Woodbury, the host of Parent Choices for Struggling Teens on L.A. Talk Radio, about the topic of combating shame. Lon Woodbury is an Independent Educational Consultant, a prolific Amazon Kindle author, and the publisher of the industry-recognized Woodbury Reports. He has worked with families and struggling teens since 1984.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr, MS, MA, LPC, is the Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy in Rim Rock Arizona, a therapeutic boarding school for girls. Mike received his Master of Science from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science. After working with various high school and college teams and coaching staffs, he completed another Master's degree from Argosy University in Professional Counseling.
Combating Shame Improves Self Esteem
Mike believes that the issue of combating shame is important for adolescents to address.
Shame, said Mike, is a result of two primary fears. The first is that I am not good enough. The second is questioning self-worth. Behind both fears is the belief if that others really knew us, they would not like us. This is what keeps the cycle of shame going.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
Mike said that the based way to combat shame is to create shame-resilience. This consisted of recognizing shame triggers; practicing critical awareness about shame-provoking messages; identifying people and environments that triggered shame; and speaking through the feeling of shame. Other ways of dissipating shame included increasing self-awareness, showing up, being seen, and being vulnerable. Letting go of what other people thought about them allowed a person to experience an expansion of creativity, love, and joy.
Sharing true stories about girls at Sedona Sky Academy who had overcome shame provided listeners with insights about how the process of empowerment worked. Basically, an empowered person was genuine, open, and quit opting to numb out.
A Brief Bio on Mike Gurr
Mike Gurr, MS, MA, LPC, is the Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy in Rim Rock Arizona, a therapeutic boarding school for girls. Mike received his Master of Science from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science. After working with various high school and college teams and coaching staffs, he completed another Master's degree from Argosy University in Professional Counseling.
Combating Shame Improves Self Esteem
Mike believes that the issue of combating shame is important for adolescents to address.
Shame, said Mike, is a result of two primary fears. The first is that I am not good enough. The second is questioning self-worth. Behind both fears is the belief if that others really knew us, they would not like us. This is what keeps the cycle of shame going.
Shame keeps people small and prevents them from being authentic. It arises from the absence of a sense of belonging. In fact, in extreme cases, people may even believe they are not relevant enough. Ironically, shame is not immediately obvious because people often put up a wall of silence or aggression to hide it. It is correlated with numerous psychological disorders and closely linked to low self-esteem.
Our achievement based society actively promotes shame, and, in fact, it is considered an essential part of parenting, teaching, and acculturation. However, it results in a person playing the victim, blaming others, feeling apathetic, and assuming an attitude of entitlement.
Mike said that the based way to combat shame is to create shame-resilience. This consisted of recognizing shame triggers; practicing critical awareness about shame-provoking messages; identifying people and environments that triggered shame; and speaking through the feeling of shame. Other ways of dissipating shame included increasing self-awareness, showing up, being seen, and being vulnerable. Letting go of what other people thought about them allowed a person to experience an expansion of creativity, love, and joy.
Sharing true stories about girls at Sedona Sky Academy who had overcome shame provided listeners with insights about how the process of empowerment worked. Basically, an empowered person was genuine, open, and quit opting to numb out.
About the Author:
Lon Woodbury, the founder of Struggling Teens, has recorded the entire interview on his weekly L.A. Talk Radio show for people to at their convenience.
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